I’m Back On The Wagon!

The beginning of this year, I was doing so good with my new healthy lifestyle. However, I fell off the wagon big time and I am right back where I started. My life has been a little out of the ordinary over the past 6 months. Things are still not back to normal, but I can not wait until that happens to take care of myself. Today was day 1 of my Clean 9 Detox. I am glad that I did not put it off until the New Year. There is no time like the present. I feel absolutely fabulous. I recommend you start the detox on a day where you will be in the house.

I did not weigh myself or measure myself, because I don’t have many of my things. However, I’ll let you know when my clothes start loosening up, insha’Allah.

A New Restaurant In Riyadh (Hijrah/Biz Opportunity)

Grand Opening of Makulaat Al Wahah

Good news! For the people of Riyadh, the good news is that we now have a Carribean restaurant in town. The good news for those interested in making hijrah and/or looking for a business opportunity, is that the expat couple from trinidad who own the restaurant, has franchises available. They are very reasonably priced. For more information contact Danle Rasheed tropicaloasisinc@gmail.com

The only thing that I know is that it’s located in Marina Mall and the menu is slamming, so please do not contact me for more infro.

Was It Really No Big Deal?

 “Three people’s du`aa are never rejected: the one who is fasting, until he breaks his fast; the just ruler and the one who has been wronged. Allah raises it above the clouds and the doors of the skies are opened for it, and the Lord says, ‘By My Honor and Glory! I will help you, even if it be after some time!’” [Tirmidhi]

“Whoever has done any wrong to his brother, let him seek his forgiveness today, before there will be no dinar and no dirham [i.e., the Day of Resurrection], when if he has any hasanaat (good deeds), some of his hasanaat will be taken and given to the one who was wronged, and if he does not have any hasanaat, some of the sayi’aat (bad deeds) of the one who was wronged will be taken and thrown onto him, and he will be thrown into Hell,”

I interrupt my scheduled blog post to tell what is on my mind at this moment. I am in the midst of a FaceBook message discussion with a Muslim sister who wants to know why I have ignored several friendship request by her. I do not mean to put her on blast, by discussing it here, but I am really floored by her reply to my response.

If you are a long time reader of mine, then you will know how emotional I can get over the fitnah of the people who hijacked and destroyed the Salafi communities in the West and online. As I mentioned before I was an original member of one of the original Salafi online communities and friends with the owner and moderators. One day I attempted to log into the group and found out I  had been banned. I wrote the 3 moderators to see why, and I was told by one (the one who is requesting my friendship on Facebook) that they would allow me back on if I publicly freed myself of two sisters (of course that sent me on a vigilante spree). The other two mods never contacted me again and I was blocked from every-one’s emails. It has been about 6 years since this incident. I witnessed sisters distance themselves from me for fear of being boycotted. I was never told that I was “off the manhaj”, but people still were weary of me nonetheless. Two of the sisters have noticed that we are friends of friends on Facebook and have requested my friendship. I ignored them because they do not even come with a message…just a request. My page is for friends and  family and really needs to be purged of a few people who are neither. So the sister messaged me to see if I were getting the request and if  it were a reason I did not accept her friend request. I wrote her back and told her that I do not hold grudges or wish to offend her, but that this was the first time I had heard from her in 6 years after her and her mother and the other sister dissed me. She wrote back that she had no idea what I was talking about.

NO IDEA! How can you forget something like that? I suffer from undiagnosed PTSD as a result…lol! She honestly and sincerely doesn’t remember. She vaguely remembers “some fitnah” with the two sisters that she said I needed to free myself from…but nothing about me. Vaguely, remembers?!  Ask anybody! If I said their names now EVERYBODY would know who I was talking about. Those sisters reputation and honor was destroyed and it was first spread on this sister’s group. Yet, she seems foggy about the whole thing. My reputation was stained and others were left to assumptions about me! How can such a defining moment in my life, at the hands of she and the likes be water under the bridge?

I know that the mentality that caused people to treat others like I was treated has been swept under the rug. What gets me is that the wrong doers have not addressed the issue. Everyone wants to let bygones be bygones. Honestly, I’m not even mad at the sister. She’s my sister in Islam and we all make mistakes. But dang it’s the principle!

This is a matter that can not be taken lightly. Do they not realise that even though they may have forgotton how they wronged people, that they need to wake up because they need to seek the forgiveness of those they wronged.

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihe wa-sallam) said: “Do you know who is a Muflis?’ ‘A Muflis is he who comes on the Day of Judgement with Salaat, Zakaar, Siyaam Hajj but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.” [Saheeh Muslim (6251)]

Stay Tuned

The return of Umm Adam.

Ask all random questions here. Next few post will be on topic insha’Allah.

TEFL As The Career Choice For The Muhaajir

This post is of a sensitive nature. I really don’t know how to say it, other than to just  speak a word straight to the point.

First, I’d like to ask that Allah facilitate  hijrah for those who sincerely desire a way out. Many Muslims in non-Muslim countries can take advantage of the fact that the Muslim world is in need of native English speakers to teach English in their countries. This has created an excellent opportunity for Muslims and non-Muslims alike. However, and unfortunately, it appears that many of the native English speaking Muslims are not qualified for the job. For years, I have been viewing the various expat forums. I can almost always tell, even without Muslim names or Islamic jargon, who the [particularly] American Muslims are. Their post are the most difficult and painstaking to read. I’m not talking about typos or bad punctuation (my areas of expertise…lol). Rather, these post are filled with the most embarrassing improper speech. When I read it, I can actually hear them speaking this way. This is how I know it was not an error and that the person actually talks like that.

I’m not writing about this to pick on anyone, because my husband is constantly telling me that I am the last person who needs to teach anybody. When I was in college, I could never get a straight A on my papers, because I had too many grammatical errors (but the content would be good enough for a high B). However, if you are looking for a job as an English teacher, then the least you could do is work on your English. These same people also seem to be the ones most offended by the fact that non-Muslims are employed in the Muslim countries. Let’s be reasonable, what are the choices?

Be that as it may, many of these half illiterate native English speakers, seem to slip through the cracks and get jobs in this part of the world. This is why my husband and I do not want our children learning English in the schools here. In most schools, you will have non-native English speaking teachers, teaching your children horrible English. On the other hand, you will find the more Islamic schools, who only wish to employ Muslim native English speakers – hiring teachers who not only do not know grammar but their spoken English is not up to par either.

This is not to offend or didiscourage people from making hijrah. However, be honest with yourself. It’s not fair to take a job (with fake credentials at that) that you are not qualified for.

Just a thought: Is it possible that the person may not even be aware that they are not speaking proper English? I ask because when they post these messages, it’s with confidence. Often times the person is even speaking with authority, telling you how it is and what to accept and what not to settle for. So it’s possible that they may not have ever been exposed to proper English and see nothing wrong with teaching broken English. Why not? The Arabs do it with Arabic.

Yeah, I know. I got a lot of nerves…this post is probably filled with errors!

Why I Am Not Sweatin’ It

Because I Trust in Allah’s words: “…When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust in Him. If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; if He forsakes you, who is – after that – that can help you? In Allah, then, let believers put their trust” (Surah Al-’lmran 3:159-160).

And remember the words of Allah: “And those who strive hard in Our Cause, We will certainly guide them to Our Paths, for verily Allah is with those who do right” (Surah al-Ankabut 29:69).

 

Time To Clean The Cell Phone

You know if you remove a bunch of mesages and pics from your cell, your battery last longer? Well that is my observation at least.

In some of the really crowded areas, there may not be an actual Masjid nearby (nearby here means you don’t step outside and find one), so they put up these trailers as makeshift masajid. This is for salatul majib and all the stores closed. These are mostly shop keepers. My husband is inside of the trailer, he was there early because he sat in the car waiting for me while I shopped…lol!

See all those shoes? Somebody will go home missing theirs. My husband keeps an extra pair in the car. I’ve seen workers “looking” for their shoes and “accidently” taking the wrong ones.

Oh and that’s the wudo station in the back.

 

Catching a prayer here is like catching a bus. You miss one and another comes along shortly.

See it was hard enough when I had 3 kids in a King Sized bed, but when I had the baby and moved last year we were supplied with a Queen size bed. The downgraded bed and upgraded kids are killing me!

I got a plan tho, but yall know me…I do it first then tell yall later!

These are my lil men – masha’Allah. I am so proud of them and the way they look out for each other. Adam is very mature for his age – masha’Allah. This was taken when we picked him up from the school bus. He immediately got off the bus, ran to me and gave me a kiss, and then took his baby brothers hand and started walking him home! He protects his big sisters too!

Thoughts On The Passing Of a Childhood Friend

Jacquelyn Byrd was her name. We called her simply Jackie or J.B for short. Sometimes we teased her and called her Big Byrd. EVERYBODY loved her. seriously, out of all my friends she is the only one I know that didnt have an enemy or was always falling out with people.

I checked my email tonight and saw two back to back messages from two childhood friends, Charita and Tikki. I knew it was bad news before I even opened it. i knew somebody died. I prepared myself for the worse…thuinking it was my brother. These are the two friends who called to tell me that my step father died, after they read about it in the newspaper. If it were any other news they would have just said it openly on my FaceBook wall.

They said Jackie died. Complications of diabetes. I didnt even know she had diabetes. Not surprised. I recently reconnected with Jasckie on FaceBook. I even talked to her on the phone and was trying to assist her in getting some stability in her life. She confided in me how her life was since we were last in touch and requested my help. I even considered trying to bring her to Saudi as a nanny, because she is one of the ferw people I would allow to keep my kids.

 

The last time I saw Jackie was in Chicago around 1998. She was staying with me and I taught her about Islam. She took her shahadah, but never really cared to follow the Quran and Sunnah. I moved to Virginia and she moved to Atlanta. We talked a few times but I was always trying to get her to focus on Islam, but that was not her main concern. You see Jackie is a naturally good and decent person who fears God. She was also a free spirit and like to follow conjecture and feel good ways to be close to God. So Islam, she could accept as a theology but not as a way of life. She died a minister of christ.

However, that is not what I am thinking about most. I’m really thinking about the irony of her death. Ive known Jackie since my childhood. I knew her whole family. Her mother died over Chritmas or Thanksgiving break our second year of college. My friend Nicole’s mother had died the year before over a school break as well. Both of their mothers were the type that everybody could call ‘mom’. After the death of their mothers, I had a fear of school breaks and i was plagued with nightmares of my own mother dying. i never told anybody this, but I was a mess inside. At that age I had no idea how to live without my mother but my two friends did and they grew into responsible adults.

A few weeks ago, Jackie left Atlanta to visit her family in Kentucky. I believe this is where she died, I dont have all the details. Jackies Aunt Norma was dianoied with cancer and told she only had a few weeks to live. Jackie was devastated but preparing for her death and enjoying spending time with all her loved ones. it turns out that Jackie’s Aunt Norma outlived her and Jackie died surrounded by her family and not alone in Atlanta.

That is what I saw as the irony of her death. Actually, it shows just how Merciful and Compassionate God is. Those who spoke to J.B recently knew that she was struggling and her story could be made for tv special. It was shocking to me that I had a friend being tested the way she was. 

I think Jackie was tired and this was a good time for her to rest.

R.I.P J.B

Encrpyted Blog Message For Muslim Mothers

Sorry guys, this post is a girly topic. Non-Muslim women, you can read it but you may not know what I’m talking about….lol! If you do please leave a comment, cuz that means you’ve done your homework!

Sugar RayRay is 15 months old now. Breastfeeds like there is no tomorrow. I started back praying two weeks after his birth and have not stopped since! 9 months of non-stop praying, when pregnant, and then a 2 week vacation instead of 40 days like normal people…lol…plus 15 months of waking up for fajr (currently 330am) even though I don’t get a full nights sleep like my husband who goes to bed right after Isha and doesn’t have to worry about changing diapers, rotating breast and keeps, waking 3 kids up 2x a night to go pottyu, and if you don’t wake them up on time you got to get everybody up to give them a bath, wash the bed and change the sheets and make a palate ion the floor to sleep on after somebody pees in the bed (kids gotta love em)!

Forget those femenist calling for equality. Let the men go to the masjid for every prayer…everyday. As long as I can sleep in a few days out of the month!

There have been indications that I may get to sleep past salatul fajr tomorrow insha’Allah! 

Takbeer!

Been Very Busy…

…doing nothing of interest for my viewers.

It took all my energy just to come up with that. I want to update my tweeter, facebook status, and check on my business websites…but I’m just not motivated. My laptop still isnt fixed because as you all know…women dont drive here in Saudi Arabioa, so I need to depend on my husband to drop it off. He’s attempted to do so on several occassions. The first time he took it to the store I bought it from, but they redirected us to their main showroom where they collect the repair jobs. Thats across town so my dh waited till the weekend to do it and when he went, they informed him that there is no pick up on the weekend. I have my old pc…actuall about 5 useless pcs and laptops laying around, but the only time I can do anything relted to web 2.0 type stuff is on my dhs laptop that he takes to work. It’s the weekend now so this is my obligatory blog post.

Not to mention, we traveled for two weeks and have more pressing issues than getting my laptop fixed. All that has taken away my general interest in the internet. I dont want to abandon my business, because I had finally got it in the right direction, but my husband complains so much about the time I spend online and accuses me of neglicating other things that the only time I can get my work done is once everybody is sleep. Which means that I’m exhausted all day and cranky. Which means that he has all but ORDERED me to close down my websites.

But that’s ok because he has found other things to occupy my time.  I am his full time secretary and advisor. I’ve actually enjoyed helping him out, but often wonder is it fair at the expense of running my own business into the ground. I have come up with so many ways that I can make money while staying home, but he shoots them all down. I wonder what the real deal is. Is he really this manly man who wants to be the sole provider and maintainer, or is he a control freak, or does he have insecurities about me having my own money?

I haven’t figured it out yet, but alhamduillah he’s never let us down and ultimately Allah always provides for us. I guess the reason I dont complain is because I have commitment issues and he is my convieniet excuse for when or why I don’t want to do something.

Case in point. exam time is rolling around and I am getting bombarded with tutoring request. The money is actually pretty good, but my dh says no…no way…no how!!! I always see the money first and my dh says that is a fitnah for me, but in the end I’m glad he puts his foot down, because I know that after I bought whatever I had my eyes on for the time, I would not be interested in working anymore.

It’s funny because now that I think of it, I have always been like this even before him. Growing up my mother fobade me from working and going to school. She said school was my job and that she would provide for me. So the first time I worked was my senior year, a few months before graduation, so that  could have money for all the senior activities and for when i went away to college. That turned out to be a diaster! The first job was working for my father at DOCKS. Anybody from Chicago? Docks is a fastfood seafood restaurant known for its Fishwich sanwich and Dockberry shakes. Dockberry shakes are made with Omar Juice mixed with Vanilla IceCrame. Omar Juice was founded my brother Omar a pioneer in the Nation of Islam and Docks was founded my My father and two other brothers from the NOI. Anyway, my very first day working at DOCKS, I was sent to the store on 79th and Vincennes. If memory serves me correctly this was their first store and at the time they had about 10 in Chicago and 5 in Philly. Again, if memory serves me correctly they had that store for around 15 years and it had NEVER EVER Been robbed before. So Im sure you know where I am going with this…

It just so happened that Allah decreed that on my very first day of work at my very first job I WAS ROBBED!!! Thats right…this type of stuff only happens to me! I remember it like it was yesterday. I can still see the expression on my manegers face (did I blog about this already? I feel like I am repeating myself) when he walked past and saw me handing out all the money. He first looked like, “wth is she doing?!!!!” and he started approaching me fast and then he froze…just stoped in his place and stared at the gun that was plunged deep in my stomach.

So after that, I went to work with my Uncle at his insurance company. I blogged about how my coworker attempted to kidnap me here. Truth be told these made good excuses for me to quit. After that, there was the odd summer job from college. One summer I had a job as a telemarketer and I hated it. I hadnt been there for a week, before I quit. I hadn’t planned on it but I went on my lunch break and at that time I was only a fish and chicken eater…no red meat. I had Cod for lunch. Returned to my office and my eyes swoll shut, nose was running, I was wheezing, couldnt breath, and was just messed up. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom to wash my face. My lips were huge and numb. I looked horrible. My supervisor sent me home. Later my friend Charita and her now husband took me to the emergency room. I had an acute allergic reaction and my body went into shock. The hospital called my mother and told her to come quick because I wasnt responding. She got there and they would not even tell her if I were dead or alive. They just kept saying, wait to see her doctor. Then I heard her screaming and making bomb threats if they did not let her see my corpse…she was convinced I was dead. So I started screaming, “I’m back here Mama”…lol

So I never went back to that job. I did manage to work as a Social Worker after college for almost 4 years. I hated every day of it and envied all my married friends who didn’t have to work. Eventually, Allah decreed a series of unfortunate events that led my job to sending me on a PAID adminitrative leave. What had happened was…a girl resident of the Detention Center that I worked at some how got pregnant my a boy who was in there being trialed as an adult for murder. The boy was being transfered because he had either got sentenced or his 17th birthday was coming up and that’s when they take you to the adult facilities. Anyway, a staff member helped him ‘get some’ from a girl before he left. When she got pregnant in our care there was an investigation. To cover for the staff member that hooked this up all involved including the staff said that I hooked it up. Everybody knew it was a lie so they wanted to get me out of there and sent me on a paid leave. I left and moved to Virginia during that time and met and married my husband. When my leave was up andI didn’t return I was fired and paid another 6 months of unemployment, but by then I had already married Prince Charming and was pregnant with my little Princess.

And we all lived happily ever after….

Masha’Allah