I Have A Black Eye


In my last post, I told you how I posted a picture of myself without my niqab (face veil) on facebook (only females except for a few male family members…my brother, nephew, and lil cousin). I said that it was to let them see that I didn’t have a black eye…you know people think all Muslim women are abused. Well the other day I had a freak accident (or was it?). I was answering the telephone and knocked myself silly on the bone, with the reciever, that surrounds the eye socket. It started off as a small bruise but is now sort of a black eye. Freak accident? Coincidence? Or did somebody give me the ayn (evil eye)?



I wonder why would a woman who is wearing niqab talk about her beauty. Why don’t you just take it off and show your beautiful face to the whole world. Men you are going through mid life crisis .

Why are you talking about other sisters who have yuk mouth subhanallah what is wrong with you. Fear your lord girl. I don’t think you are all that beautiful because if you were really beautiful you wouldn’t want to talk about yourself. I feel sorry for your husband……… poor man!

For the record, I should have put “beauty” in Quotation Marks, because I was saying it in a “quote/unquote” type of way. It was not to be taken serious and I was no way trying to make myself out to be some super model…ha I laugh at that. 
I am an almost 40 year old mother of 4 – invisible to to half of mankind, while cloaked in all black from head to toe, had my last child and did myself a favor by losing some weight…allow me to amuse myself sometimes…aight?
Arrogant I am not. I’m not conceited…I’m convinced…just kidding…but seriously…if you know me then you know I was just having some fun with the topic because my husband thinks he’s a know it all…that’s what I thought was so funny…
Susanne got it!
…and what is with this mid life crisis nonsense? This is the second time a commentor suggested I am having a mid life crisis.
People to to chill…

Another Pointless Post aka Umm Adam Speaks Out Against Her Haters


I am not mad at anyone for being honest with me in the last post. I wish that this was known without having to be said. Those who know me personally would know this. I welcome CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

I asked because, not only with that brother’s comments towards me, but in general I have noticed a disturbing trend of double standards when it comes to adherent Muslims. It seems as though, when speaking of tolerance, liberals actually mean that they want everyone to tolerate them and their ideals. However, if you oppose them and have different views they don’t have to tolerate you or have to show you even the tiniest amount of respect.

There was another comment the brother made later (in reference to this same discussion), that was a prime example. He said,

EVERYONE, from all communities need to take a stand and silence the extremists. That will be the only way to end the bloodshed and misery in places like Gaza.

As a Muslim I feel a duty to speak against the extremists and remind the world that they do not speak for Islam, they dont speak for God, that these people speak only for themselves and the others who would twist their religions.

I found that to be EXTREMELY extreme, dangerous, and hypocritical. For one, he had just personally labeled me an extremist. Then to compare me with the crisis in Gaza! If anyone follows that blog they will know that I don’t personally attack nor do I condemn or call people to  my personal opinion. I do know how to get along with people who have different views. It’s not my way or the highway, but like he said that as a Muslim he feels it is a duty to speak out, so do I. The difference is that when I speak out I quote Islamic sources (Quran and Sunnah). Whereas, when he speaks out he mocks and ridicules those who quote Islamic sources. He accuses of us being unintelligent wanna be Arab idiots. He makes broad generalizations and lumps everybody in one boat. How fair is that? Who should this animosity really be to?

 He even told me once that all I do is cut and paste. If that is all I do than it seems to me that the problem that he has is not what I say, it’s with what Allah and His Messenger has said.

I did not ask your opinions because I was concerned about being an extremist. I’m pretty confident that I am not. I found interesting that many people related being strict or conservative with being extreme when they are totally different. It’s funny because I personally feel that I do fall somewhere in the middle and that I am the ‘Moderate’ Muslim. I get criticised by people much more conservative and sticker than I and I don’t consider them extreme, unless they have deviated in any way.

It’s also interesting that he and another male Muslim (well Saudi  have no idea what religion he claims to belong to)  commentator on that blog, who are in support of women’s rights and ‘liberating’ women – would choose to show such disrespect to me and another woman who was not the ‘Islam bashing’ women that they prefer to side with. Why the double standard? Why when a woman is passionate and vocal about her religion is she now seen as a threat? Are the only Muslim women who have rights, the ones who want to shed the veil as it was suggested? Who want to intermingle with men? Who would rather try and intellectualize the religion and call others to do what they want and still call it Islam? Who prefer to keep their Islamic identity between them and their Lord – leaving nothing – word, action. nor appearance as indicators of their faith?

Or maybe it’s OK to be tolerated if you are the  jilted and heartbroken, non-Muslim,  ex plaything of an Arab Muslim – who has decided to study Islam, Arab Culture, and Arabic –  out of vengeance, scorn, anger, and the desire crush Muslims/Islam as she was. Surely, this type of person has more right than the Muslim who wants to defend her faith out of love for her Lord, to insult and make derogatory comments about Muslims who clarify matters of their religion that their “dear friend” may have misconveyed. If that is the criteria I’m so glad that I’m not a part of such a wicked “little coven”.

I just found it all very eye opening. I was not hurt by his comments, because I’ve seen him rant and rave all over the Internet for years. I also recognized how he projected many of his characteristics on to those whom he views as extremist. It’s really quiet easy to psycho analyze this type of behavior (usually a cause of some deep seated hurt that man who – was created weak and emotional can not handle and instead of seeking refuge in Allah and trusting in Allah they think they are hiding their anger and displeasure in what Allah has decreed for them by hurling insults at the servants of Allah who call others to worship Him as He aught to be worshipped. Add that with some bipolar traits and voila!). It’s beyond childish – but he started it!

I will now – insha’Allah – go back to ignoring the haters, as I usually do (I normally stick to defending a position and don’t make it pesonal). However, some people were baiting and begging for attention. Thought I’d give them some fodder.




Umar Lee has posted a Working Class Muslim Family Series. I read Part 4 “Hijrah” just now and there was one part that struck me hard.

If brothers in Muslim countries only knew how badly many American-Muslims just wanted to live in a Muslim land where they would not be given strange looks, where their wives could cover freely and be given their rights, where the kids could be inculcated into the culture of Islam, where if you die you will get a  proper Muslim burial [Note from Umm Adam: A major reason in my decision to not travel outside of the Muslim lands.  I have this fear of dying and not only not getting the virtues of dying as a  muhaajir but possibly being buried incorrectly wa authoo billahi min thaliq], where you don’t have to worry about food being haram, and where you hear the adhan 5 times a day, if brothers in Muslim countries only knew how badly your heart yearend for Dar al Islam then you would think they would be helping working-class Muslims resettle in Muslim lands for the sake of their children.

Yet, with very limited exceptions, there are normally not wide open arms at the other end welcoming the American brothers and sisters. Instead, we face bureaucratic and visa nightmares fro “Muslim” governments and hostility from Muslims in Muslim lands and often return home and are harassed by the fed’s because we are seeking to grow closer to Allah. As we go closer to Allah American law-enforcement will try to stand in between us and the One who created both of us; but as the old Christian saying goes “you demons get behind me”.

This is something that pains me and causes me to often stay up at night praying that Allah facilitate a way for all the Muslims who desire hijrah for His sake. This is also another reason I am so disturbed when I read the rants and raves of Muslims and non-Muslims who live in Saudi for reasons other than the sake of Allah. I have brothers and sisters in Islam – all over Allah’s vast world who would love to take their place and live in this land for the reasons that Umar pointed out. Then you have people here trying to rip the Islam out of here, people who hate that this is an Islamic societyand call for the Islam to be limited in both school and in the open, people who would love for Saudi to be secular, who mock Islam, and want the Muslims to be more progressive to the point that Islam is something vague. I get angry and frustrated that they have come to this land only to disparage it. It makes me sad that the Muslims must rely on non-Muslims to build and develope their country. It makes me sadder that the Muslims are not qualified to do this. It sickens me that people can come and live off of the wealth of this land and have such hatred for it in their hearts.

I think the essence was summed up good on a MuslimMatters.org Post about varying perspectives:

… there is no denying the problems & negative aspects of this country. Every single complaint they have is valid to varying degrees. There is increasing social immorality, lessening of (apparent) Islamic spirit, rising materialism, government policies amounting to discrimination, endless red tape, economic inflation & lack of structured support system for new immigrants.

The Muslim world is not perfect. Period. But the positives more than balance them out: Muslims are a majority (even if all of them may not be practicing); you hear the azaan fives times a day; you can never miss a prayer for a lack of masjid; hijabis & ‘beardies’ are a norm & do not stick out as on the street; halal food in all eateries & markets; easy access & wide choice for children’s secular & Islamic education; tax-free incomes; Islamic financing; personal safety & security etc.

Therefore, perhaps, if the attitude is right our lens will magnify all that is good, & coupled with the determination & strength to face what may come, it could be a win-win situation, inshaAllah. That Islam extols hijrah is not unknown.

When I was in America there were many things that I did not agree with. I never sat around pointing out every flaw or problem that I had. When I made the decision to make Hijrah, I didn’t give a laundry list of negative reasons why I didn’t want to remain in America. Rather, I simply said I am leaving for the sake of Allah and I named the positive reasons for doing so. When I speak of hopefully never returning to America, it is not with hatred for America that I speak, it is with love for doing what I think is pleasing to Allah. There was no reason for me to smear, degrade, or slight America…not when Allah says in The Noble Qur’an – An-Nisa 4:97-98

Verily! As for those whom the angels take (in death) while they are wronging themselves (as they stayed among the disbelievers even though emigration was obligatory for them), they (angels) say (to them): “In what (condition) were you?” They reply: “We were weak and oppressed on earth.” They (angels) say: “Was not the earth of Allâh spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?” Such men will find their abode in Hell – What an evil destination!

Except the weak ones among men, women and children who cannot devise a plan, nor are they able to direct their way.

I made my intention for Hijrah, asked Allah for it, and got out of dodge. I often ask myself the same thing about those who live in Saudi but find it stifling and oppressive, “Was not the earth of Allâh spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?”

Leave! Get out! Be gone!

Why All The Animosity?


Blog stats are very interesting. I really like the way wordpress has everything set up. It will show you the Google search terms that lead people to your blog. I often get a kick at some of the terms, and even thought that I would do a post once I got enough interesting terms to blog about. Some of my traffic is accidental and the person will put the same key words in again if they liked the blog and want to find me. However, most of my traffic is from people that are specifically looking for me. They put UMM ADAM in the search engine. Other times, it is clear that it is from people looking for dirt on me. I often shake my head at some of the things they will put in, because it is obvious that they have some suspicion towards me and are spying on me (both are haram). I get people that I know who have never seen my blog before, contacting me and asking what in the world am I blogging about that has people so angry with me? Apparently, people are making a big fuss over my blog. I’ve had one person ask me if I could stop blogging, or else her husband doesn’t want her to associate with me (she’s in America!). She has NEVER read my blog but her husband is a devoted follower.

Others are under the impression that I am on here competing with Superhead, with my version of Confessions of A Video Vixen. They’ve heard that I am a disgrace and blog about my personal life. By the time the rumor gets around it’s as if I am hosting a blog orgy! Of course many of these rumors are started by those who admonish me for backbiting nameless people on my blog, while they totally ignore their advice and have an all you can eat buffet, with The Flesh of Umm Adam, as the day’s special!

There is even someone, who is reporting back to my husband EVERYTHING I blog about! This was the most disturbing, because he has no idea if my husband is the type that will come home and black my eye and knock my teeth out over something like this! My husband asked me today, if I was describing how I use to dress in jahiliyah. I do not recall ever describing how I use to dress, which really was not bad for a non-Muslim and leaned towards the modest side. However, because I have a category about my jahiliyah, it is the opinion of this person that it is not befitting of  a Muslim woman to openly discuss that. I respect his opinion and my husband has the utmost respect for the brother and this is another thing that bothers me. The brother does not have the shyness or respect to just not read the blog. It must be humiliating for my husband to be confronted like this (I’m assuming here because he has not said that, but I would be if a brother was coming to me telling me that he knew every detail of my wife’s online life and was complaining about it ). In some respect that should be reason enough for me not to blog. However, I don’t feel that I have blogged about anything that is top secret or for a select few. I think that if modesty and shyness is required of me than it is also required of brothers. You can not accuse me of being shameful and at the same time sit in my company (read my blog).

If you are a man, reading my blog, and you think that it is shameful for a Muslim woman to blog about her personal life – STAY THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICK AWAY FROM MY BLOG!

What I found on my blog stats today, left me shocked and dismayed with hurt feelings 😦

ignoramous umm adam – salafis in ksa

I don’t get it. What did I do to deserve such an insult? In the case of this searcher, they have more than likely never even read my blog. They have only heard about it. Either that or they have read my blog and are searching the net looking for more on me.

That’s right…people who do not approve of my blog with their self-righteous indignation – who accuse me of whatever – are often times CLEARLY wronging me, by backing biting, spying, and suspicion.

How many people have come to my blog, because someone told them about this ‘shameful’ sister who blogs? I know of several who have found out about my blog like that, because people have confronted my husband and I about it. One person came to our house, who had never seen the blog – but was told by someone else that I blogged about an event that he was familiar with. He wanted to advise my husband that I should be careful with what I blog about because someone who wasn’t even at the gathering was so ‘fumed’ after reading my blog that he now wants to take me to court! Even though I gave no names or locations! 

If you read my blog and you think you have figured out who or what I am talking about, which is more shameful – me giving a general telling or you playing detective to see who and what I am talking about and making it your business to inform them? Why did this person feel the need to contact those in attendance and inform them of my blog? The people there were not mentioned by name and would be the last people to read my blog. Not to mention, I did not backbite them, I merely related an interesting conversation!

My husband is better than them all, because not only does he not ask who these people are, but he does not tell me who has confronted him. In all of the cases he has never even initiated a talk with me to tell me that  someone has discussed my blog with him. I have always had a ‘sense’ for things and asked him each time, if someone brought up my blog. I just get this feeling.

ignoramous umm adam – salafis in ksa

Is that from Islam? Is this the example of our pious predecessors? Does it really disturb you that much to see a Muslim woman blog about nothing but her everyday, mundane life?! This is why people think that Muslim women are oppressed! I have had many non-Muslims contact me, to tell me that they have never met a Muslim before, and the only thing that they know about Islam is from the media, and that even though my blog is not an Islamic blog – it gives them a glimpse into the life of a Muslim woman. And you know what they see? They see a woman who is trying to serve her Lord, please her husband, and raise up pious children? They see me as a better person than my own Muslim brothers and sisters do! And you know what else? They can relate to that! They no longer see all Muslim Women as oppressed. They realise that we are like any other women, who make choices and that unfortunately we sometimes are oppressed but they see it is not the religion that is oppressive, rather it is the people or environment. I’ve even been emailed by Christians who are embarrassed after reading the comments of my brethren STALKERS and have told me that they also understand that because it happens to them with theirs!

Do you know how ridiculous it would be for ANYBODY to try and sue me in court based on something I said on this blog? Do you realise how insane you make Islam, Muslims, The Shariah, and Saudi Judicial System look – when you claim that you will seek the hudud for backbiting (public lashings), when in fact I have more proof of your backbiting me than you have of me backbiting anybody?! Do you know who my thousands of neighbors are? Do you know whose  Ghetto Walima I attended? Do you know who wore weaves and dressed like tramps? NO! Dis I ever once mention names and locations? No, but YOU/Y’ALL sure have gone out of your way to try and identify my family and our whereabouts, even though I have NEVER mentioned my husband’s name or our whereabouts on here.

The funny thing is, that if you think you can take me to court on behalf of other UNKNOWN and UNNAMED people, then you will only open yourself up for me to sue you, because you have clearly done to me what you have accused me of doing to unnamed and unknown people. I can surely find out who YOU Are! Each time someone confronts my family about someone else exposing me, backbiting me, seeking out my shortcomings, studying my blog to get a ruling on, etc…I can find out who YOU are and YOU have clearly done worse than me.

Do you know one of the times it is permissible to lie? It is when trying to reconcile two Muslims. Why then would YOU read my blog and try to find out who was at the picnic I was referring too? Why does this bother you so much?! The same way you obviously have too much time on your hands, because you continue to busy yourself with that which does not concern you…MY BLOG – than perhaps I too have a little extra time on my hands and I blog. Sure there are much more beneficial things To could be doing with my time….but blogging is not stopping me from doing them…circumstances are. I would love to be a student at Umm Al -Qura, but that’s across the country. I would love to study Arabic, but there are no classes near me. I would love to devote my day and night to memorising the Quran, but I have children and can not concentrate all day and night on the Quran. So I blog..sometimes…it is a way for me to communicate with others. I am a stranger in a strange land. I know many wives who spend a great deal of their husbands pay checks calling home everyday…I DON’T! I rarely talk to anybody who speaks my language, besides the people in my home. So I blog! If anyone has a problem with that, do us all a favor and stay the FOUR LETTER WORD THAT STARTS WITH AN ‘F’ OFF OF MY BLOG!!!


* When I say YOU I am speaking of nobody in particular, because I know there is more than one. At one point a commenter said that there was a group of them studying my blog. So it’s a collective YOU and YOU ALL can kiss my grits!