Stuff I’ve ONLY Heard Black Americans Talk About


Taken a ”Policy” out on a young black male relative

I just had this discussion last night with someone who called me from the States, to say that they didn’t think their young black male relative would survive in the Wild Wild West much longer. This person said, “I wonder if I should take an insurance policy out on him, I could take a $250,000 insurance policy out but I don’t know if I could enjoy the money if something were to happen to him.”

You know I use to hear this kind of talk all the time, coming from the South Side of Chicago. Sadly our statistics showed us that there is no need to invest in a college fund or a marriage fund or for that matter make any plans for the future of a young black man that did not include burying him or visiting him behind bars. Unfortunately, we would get a better return on our investments in young black men, if we purchased a ”policy”.

I haven’t had this kind of converstation in years, not since leaving the States. However, last nights conversation made me nostalgic. I instantly remembered those streets. All the faces of the young black men, whose funerals I attended, flashed before me. I was able to recall the young black men who were under my care that I mentioned in

My America: The Effects of Working With Natural Born Killers On An American Muslim Muhaajirah

I thought about my brother, who beat the odds and is still alive at 36 years old. I thought about my two slain cousins and also my cousin who served time for murder. I thought about my sister in law saying that if we lived somewhere safer (I live in virtually crime free Saudi Arabia) then they would come see us. I wonder if she would consider Chicago safer?

Today, I’m sad and can’t get that conversation out of my head. I feel like this young man is an hour glass and his time is running out. I’m also reminded, how this type of ”policy” is haram (not permissable) in Islam. This young man, could very well out live us all.

Oh well, let me get back to my family and my work (or playing on the computer as Adam says).


Harold’s Chicken Shack


My babies are all sound asleep…shhhh…for now. I really should sleep when they sleep but I like to unwind. Why am I online literally covering my mouth and trying not to wake up anybody for laughing hysterically. If you are not from Chicago, you may not find this funny but Harold’s Chicken Shack has a wiki page and it is the most GHETTO wiki I have ever read. I LOVED IT! All while I was reading, I’m like I wonder if he’ll mention the Bullet Proof service windows….he did! Now I need to go google Obama’s 60 minute interview cuz they said that he mentioned his fondness for The Chicken King in an Interview. Wonder if they will have that at the inauguration with Italian Fiesta.

The basic Harold’s Chicken Shack dinner is a half or quarter chicken served with french fries, two pieces of white bread, and a cup of cole slaw. The chicken may be all white meat, all dark meat, or a mix (known as regular). Harold’s also sells wing dinners and gizzards, and some restaurants offer catfish, perch, and a number of side items including fried okra. The chicken can be served plain, but usually either hot or mild sauce is added. In Chicago-style fried chicken, the sauce is drizzled over the chicken and fries which results in the chicken skin softening as it soaks up the sauce. A common practice is to take the sauce soaked fries and place them between the bread. Chicagoans call this “making a fry sandwich”.

Some Harold’s restaurants are very informal, with take-away chicken served by employees standing behind a window of

Where Umm Adam Grew Up


cough – next door to the – cough – President Elect – cough – Barack -cough – Obama -cough


Go head, get yo swirl on and rotate the direction device to check out my street. The side entrance on Crandon Street is the building Obama lived in. The 67th Street entrance with the Canopy out front was my building. Two different buildings but they look a like and are semi-attached.

That’s my Grammer School. It sure has changed a lot. When I started there in Kindergarten, there was this prostitute hang out Motel directly across the street…Pimps and all. They tore it down and made it a park connected to Rainbow beach. Look like they expanded the park.

O.K – Now this is just too much! Subhanallah! This is my grandparents house. My grandfather died when I was in 7th grade and my grandmother died when I was 16 years old. Nobody paid the taxes on it after they died and it was taken and sold for almost nothing. To this day, my most emotional dreams are the dreams I have at grandma’s house. They seem so real and I am so happy and then I wake up..

This is my High school. It’s in the ghetto. I was bused…lol! Scroll to look across the street. You can actually see real people. What caught my attention was the SNOW CONE Stand! I’ve been telling my kids all about the ‘Candy Lady’ and other ghetto staples of life.

I Gotta Be Obama To Get My Favorite Pizza In Saudi?!



I have been screaming since I left the States how bad I miss Chicago Pizza. Of course I miss Giordano’s spinach stuffed pizza, but most of all I miss my neighborhood pizza place. I now know how I can get it in Saudi. I just need to alert the authorities that the U.S President Elect Barack Obama and I have the same exact favorite greasy pizza place. Then have them sponsor the owners to come and make their pizzas here! I even still remember the phone number! Italian Fiesta is the best pizza I have ever had. I have not even come close to having a pizza like that since I left Chicago. It’s greasy and cut in squares, not triangles or rectangles like Little Ceasers. Complete with ghetto service from the moment you place your order to the moment the thug delievers the pizza (cept for the fine one I had a crush on)! It’s the only pizza I’ve ever had covered in Aluminum Foil! It is so bad that I plan on asking whoever comes to visit me from my family, insha’Allah to dry freeze me a few pizzas and bring it on the plane with them.

Italian Fiesta Pizza in Hyde Park is taking its spicy-sauced, thin crust pizza to D.C. for an event previewing the food at the inauguration:
The Ritz in Washington D.C. is paying to fly the pizzeria’s owners to the nation’s capitol for the inauguration expo to be held there next week to serve their pizza there.

A month before the election, owner Patti Harris-Tubbs got a phone call from the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, D.C., asking if she would be willing to come to the nation’s capital to make her pizza if Obama won. She thought it was a joke, Harris-Tubbs when Obama won, the hotel e-mailed back, offering to fly her and her husband out to serve their pizza next week at the Presidential Inauguration Expo, which is an event designed to preview the food that will be served at inauguration time in January.

The owners told NBC that Obama was introduced to their pizza by Michelle Obama, whose parents gave it to her as a reward for good grades.…_n_143742.html

Michelle and I grew up in the same neighborhood (South Shore 60649), so I’m sure she was raised on the 71st Street Italian Fiesta. Later, they opened one in Hyde Park on 47th Street. I lived in Hyde Park too, and ordered from both.

*Nicole, Charita, Tikki, Paula – y’all reading this? Hook a Sistah up…Fed Ex me some!

*Remember all of our fights Nicole about me wanting ground beef and you just haventa have yo poke sauage pizza? rofl

Is Chicago A Good Place For African American Muslims?


Emphathetically NO!

If some random person told me that they were visiting Chicago and asked me if I thought they would like it, I’d tell them that they would LOVE it, but to be careful. i mean what’s not to love. just as the majority of Americans don’t have passports, therefore, never leaving the country – the majority of Chicagoans have never left the city! Everything you need is right there.

If an African American askled me about relocating to Chicago, to raise children, I’d suggest they look for a better place. At most I could tell them what are the better schools and neighorhoods – but even that is risky. For African Americans in Chicago, you either sink or swim. Unfortunately, there are many African Americans who can not swim and will try to pull you under with them.

For an African American Muslim, who adheres to The Quran and Sunnah, I would have a different response all together. I would never recommend Chicago for an African American Muslim. Most of the immigrant Muslims and their offspring live in the surrounding Chicagoland areas and have established schools and masajid. We all know what those can be like. I won’t discuss that here, because for the most part an African American Muslim would only be visiting those areas on Friday for Jumuah prayer, Ramadan, and The Eids. You will likely not be living in their communities. While the immigrant Muslim has their own issues raising their children in the West period – The African American Muslim in Chicago would be feeding their kids to the wolves.

I need not mention the obvious inner city issues, that most African Americans face, but as Muslims you will not have the support of a Muslim extended family. In most cases, this will be a single moms struggle. There are plenty of Muslims in Chicago, and they are all doing their own thing. You will find plenty of people with Muslim names, who will tell you that, their mother or father (rarely both) were/are Muslim. For some reason Islam does not get passed on to the offspring in Chicago among African Americans.

If you want to raise your children, as best you can in this world to be good Muslims, my advice would be to stay as far away from Chicago as possible.

Brain Farts


1. What will Black Folks in Chicago do if Barack Hussein Obama, doesn’t win? Negroes in the Chi know how to play the fool – good news or bad news (Bulls 3peat riots). If he wins will they behave? If he doesn’t will they behave?

2. Feeling sad for BHO about the death of his grandma. This close to making history and the people who have known him all his life are not here to witnessing it. Please nobody think I am ignorant for what I am thinking, but I wonder if his white side of the family (who without a doubt would be proud of him)completely understand how – I can’t even find the right word- how significant he is. He’s giving hope to the hopeless.

3. I asked an ex colleague from the Detention Center I use to work at, if the suspect in the Jennifer Hudson family murder case was one of ‘my kids’ back in the day. She said yes. I knew he looked very familiar – as was his name. Did I tell you guys how I would dread watching the news when I lived in Chicago? The news basically foretold what my work day would be like.

4. Sistah Toldja told it like it is.
“Regardless of your education level or socio-economic status, if you are Black you probably can name at least one relative or neighbor or former classmate who has either died or been injured violently or, who has committed such a crime upon someone else. And you probably can name at least one family member or acquaintance who has currently or in the past been incarcerated. And I bet you can name a crackhead as well. “

True that.

Robert Kelly Stop Yo Lying!


In his first interview since being acquitted of child pornography charges, R. Kelly dismissed allegations that he ever preyed on young girls, telling BET News: “I don’t like anyone illegal.” I watched this video and was so embarrassed. It is the same type of embarrassment I have had in America, while watching the news and some Jheri Curl cap wearing (or rollers), gold toothed, giving shout out to his Mama fool, is interviewed. What was also disheartening was that I KNEW he was lying! Even for people who may have believed he was innocent, had to know after his very opening words that he was lying his butt off. Check it out for yourself. Check out his stance right before he asked, “When you say teenage how old are we talkin’ ?”  Even the interviewer had to pause a second to recompose himself, after that!

Then he got the nerves to say, “those people they don’t know Robert, they don’t know me” after being told that some people think he likes underage girls. Well Robert, I know you and I know you like underage girls. I know you from 53rd street…we go back and I hooked you up then when I was a teenager and you were a grown man with a friend a year younger than me! I was disgusted when she showed me her collection of indecent photos of you! I told her then that maybe one day you would be famous and her pictures would be worth something. I’m starting to think that she was not the only one or else you wouldn’t have made this stupid statement:

“When you’re me, when you’re R. Kelly, everybody wants a piece of you, and if you don’t give ’em a piece they’ll find a way to get a piece of you one way or the other,”

“I’ve been blackmailed a billion times in my career—before the trial, during the trial, after the trial…I’ve been sued for stuff that—ridiculous things, you know. At one point in my life, I was an ATM machine…People would come up and push whatever, and if it don’t come out they’ll go tell somebody this or they’ll go run and say this, run and say that. I’m used to that.”

Obviously they had something on you if they were able to blackmail you.


Older Entries