So the progressive, (Muslim) modernist (Muslim), and their Non Muslim allies are still trying to reform Islam. Polygyny has always been high on their list of permissible things that they would like to make impermissible. Strangely, enough it is this type that are always trying to make haram – halal (which is actually what they are doing when they want to make polygyny illegal while not having a problem with adultry).

I don’t know what annoys me more, the naysayers who claim that polygyny is outdated and that men have no valid reason to take another wife or the polygyny apologist who come to the defense with all of their reasons why men can take other wives. It’s like with hijab, I don’t get all poetic about wearing it. it’s an order from my Lord and that’s that. If I didn’t have to wear it, I wouldn’t.

I told my husband that if he ever takes another wife, just do it! Don’t give me any reason, because whatever he says will sound selfish and self serving to me. Allah made it permissible, if he gives me some trifling reason why he wants to subject his family to his need to fulfill some sick fantasy or boost his ego, than don’t tell me about it, because then it makes me speak from my desires and blame polygyny.

These are some of the ‘noble’ justifications I’ve heard:

* If the wife has a terminal illness, it it better to take another wife than to divorce her

See, it’s reasons like that that make me want to tell a man to go straight to hell. I  mean it’s legit but dayum it just sounds so cold even though they try to make it sound like it is out of love and concern. In the mean time if my man is terminal, I just got to patiently wait until he dies or look like a real b-word by divorcing him.

* The wife has so many kids that she neglects the husband

Don’t get me started on that one! So his 10 minutes (or seconds) of fun results in a woman being pregnant for 9 months, nursing for 2 years, changing diapers for 3 years, and worrying about a child for the rest of her life. In the mean time daddy ain’t getting it on demand anymore and comes up with the ingenious idea that he can get some somewhere else…9 months later the cycle repeats its self and now he has to deal with double the trouble.

* Men are men, they like variety or they will get bored.

I told my husband that if he ever used that one on me, his feelings would get hurt…lol! Neapolitan was always my favorite ice cream. Variety is the spice of life. If I have to be content so should he. See why I don’t want any excuses…cuz then I start sounding like the anti-polygyny crew.

*Helping the sister out.

Nicca puhlease! Charity will help her out just fine. I meet so many sisters who get divorced and their waiting period isn’t even up before married brothers start dropping hints. The last thing a newly divorced sister needs to do jump into a new marriage right after she ghuls. Give her a chance to think clearly. Order groceries and have them sent to her house, secretly pay her rent for 6 months, makes sure her kids have clothes and school supplies. And here’s the kicker..get this…do it for the sake of Allah! Do not do it so that she can be in cahoots with you on how y’all can hook up behind your wife’s back.

I’m not saying that these are not good reasons to take another wife. However, it is not totally altruistic.

The list goes on and on. Feel free to add to it.

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