* I’ve edited this post to make it more general.

Please do not take this the wrong way and read more into it than what I am saying.

I am aware of a situation of a sister with many young children who is complaining that her husband recently took another wife and he doesn’t have a pot to piss in! The brother is not properly providing for his children and they often receive charity. He also has plans on taking a 3rd wife in the near future. The sister naturally wants a divorce. She was told that  she should speak to a person of knowledge, an appeal was made on her behalf to any sisters with a good command of the Arabic language to help her get her question to the Ulema and then a fatwa was posted about asking for a divorce without a valid reason.

Why does she need to consult the Ulema? To see if she has a valid reason? Why does it need to be asked of an Arab? There are knowledgeable people in America who can answer that question. Do you think the Ulema can solve all of our personal problems? They can give us guidance and remind us of our duty, but in this sister’s case, is going through the trouble of finding someone to translate her question in Arabic (assuming the only knowledgeable people are Arabs), just to give her an answer that can be found on the internet (unfortunately, there is nothing unique about her situation) really necessary?. Wouldn’t a Life Coach be better suited to help this sister out? Somebody who can help her set some goals and to take a deep look at her situation and a realistic outcome. A job counselor? A Therapist? But the Ulema? The sister knows her duties. She knows his rights and her rights. In the Muslim world they don’t go to the Ulema for this, because it is a family matter that is taken care of by people from both sides of the family mediating. She is apparently a convert and only converts would think to say go to the Ulema when she is not even seeking a fatwa. I’m really curious as to what people think the Ulema will tell her and her husband that they don’t already know.

I have a friend. She is Arab and she has consulted the Ulema about her problem and they have asked her what?! What is she expecting from them. She was divorced two years ago and has been living out of her suitcase for two years. She just left staying in my house and is off staying with another family for now. She is mentally and emotionally unstable and the Ulema can not help her with that. She goes from one person to the next to whoever will listen to her tragic tale and all everyone says is be patient and make dua. It’s true….that’s all she can do and all that can be said about the matter. So what exactly is this sister suppose to even ask the Ulema?