I just double checked with him, to make sure, before I blogged this. I asked him if he has ever been questioned about our children being his children. He said, “never”. Today, my daughter had some Filipino neighbors over. This was their first time over. They have only seen me outside in my abaya, niqab, and gloves. The children were very polite to me and smiled when I greeted them, but basically ignored me. Later, when my eldest daughter called me, “Mommy” and asked me permission for something – one of the children asked incredulously, “Is that your Mother?” This went right over my daughter’s head and she proudly, with a big cheesy smile replied, “Yes! That’s my Mommy.” She was so happy to have me meet her new friends. The little girl politely replied (while politely trying to cover her surprised expression), “Oh.”

This is not the first time it has happened to me and I am sure it is not the last. What gets me is that it has NEVER happened to my husband. I even had a friend once tell me that a friend of my husband and her husband had expressed shock and awe when he found out I was black. Her husband asked him, “well what did you think she was? You’ve seen his children” and he told them that he really didn’t see anything questionable about them, they just looked like his kids. Mind you one of my children is clearly NOT white!

I’m not upset. It made me happy to see my daughter be both oblivious to the question and also proud to introduce me as her mother. I hope she is always proud to have me as her mother. I am often reminded of the heartbreaking film, The Imitation of Life, where the biracial daughter was ashamed of her black mother and opted to pass.