I do not have a problem!

I do not have a problem!

I do not have a problem!

The first step to solving a problem is to recognise the problem

Apparently y’all ain’t hearing me, cuz I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM!

It all started the other day when I dared to venture out into the Saudi heat in the morning. I had a few errands to run and I rarely if ever do them in the day time. There is a reason why no stores and businesses are open between 12-4pm. It’s just too hot to be out there. so I got this migraine, came home and crashed. When I woke I had a sweet tooth that wouldn’t leave. We only do our major grocery shopping once a month, because I go over an hour away to do it. So all the food in the house was boring and bland. I survived the rest of that day and night, but woke up yesterday morning with a worse headache and an unrelenting sweet-tooth! I tried to fight it off as long as I could, because I have a no junk food in the house policy. Junk food can be a treat, but I don’t want it as a staple as it is in many homes here. My husband announced that he was going to the store and so I handed him a quick list:

Toilet Paper

Juice

Fruit

Salad Fixings

Cadbury Fruit N Nut Bar

Snickers

M&M’s

Oreos

Ice Cream

He looked at the list and said, “is all that really necessary? We’re going shopping in a few days insha’Allah.”  So I said, “give it back to me!”

Toilet Paper

Juice

Fruit

Salad Fixings

Cadbury Fruit N Nut Bar

Snickers

M&M’s

Oreos

Ice Cream

“You don’t have to get the stuff I scratched off, we can wait for that but make sure you get the other stuff and whatever you need.” He told me that I had a problem and he was not buying that stuff. I was so glad the baby was sleep and the girls were at their friends house, because I must have acted exactly like my kids do in the store! First I tried to rationalise, “I don’t have a problem. It’s hormonal. You can ask any woman and medical research even proves it. Chocolate is good for you. It alleviate stress and may be a cure to my migraines. I can’t seem to get rid of the migraines unless I have chocolate.” Then, I threw a tantrum and fought back tears. Finally, I pretended like he was right and knew what was best and that I appreacited him looking out for my well-being, “but if you decide otherwise, don’t forget the list!” Mr. No It All, did not fall for that at all. He refused to buy it.

Shortly, after one of my neighbors returned my daughters home and I mentioned to her my sweet tooth (hint hint). She asked if I liked chocolate and I perked up and excitedly told her, “I love chocolate!” She said that she had plenty at home and could bring me some. I told her not to bother, I would come with her! I grabbed my abayah and screamed to the girls to come on, we were walking them home. When we got outside my neighbor was pushing my son in the stroller and I moved her out of the way and took the stroller and dayum near raced her home. When we got to her home I didn’t wait to get invited in and followed her straight to the kitchen! Her daughter told me that they had Twix and Galaxy Chocolate, but they only had one Twix and a bag of frozen Snickers. Her daughter took the Twix and I played it off like I didn’t want it but when my daughter reached for the big Snickers she almost caught a beat-down. I told her that the miniature ones were for them and the big one was for me. I almost tripped over my feet getting to her living room so that I could sit down and eat the candy. I knew she was tired and sleepy, but I was not the least bit concerned about my rude behavior. I wasn’t myself! I inhaled the hard, stale, and frozen Snicker Bar –  asked my youngest daughter if she was going to eat hers or just look at it, then thanked my neighbor and headed home. As we approached our house I realised that there was nothing in there for me us to snack on and that my husband was sleep. I grabbed my cell phone and called a driver and told my daughter to tell him to go to the store and get us some candy…QUICK! He was such a life saver. We stayed outside, kids sitting on the curb and me pacing back and forth until he came and I snatched the bag, thhanked him, told him dh would pay him later,  threw the kids their payoff and locked myself away to devour the goods. We all made ourselves sick and I told myself that was it no more, I got it out of my system and could go on to my normal healthy routine. I had no desire for anything sweet.

I woke up this morning with a hangover headache and no appetite. I felt like cleaning and cooking and so I did. However when the food was ready I still had no desire for it. Later the sweet tooth came back with a vengeance! I asked my dh what he was doing and he said nothing. So I asked him if he could watch the kids for a few minutes and I would be right back. I sent them to the yard to play and I made my disappearance. I told my dh I was going for a short walk and I walked as fast as I could to the store. There I got another quick fix and ate it on the way home so that nobody knew what I had been up to.

For dinner we had waffles with plenty of syrup and for my snack I just had some toast and jam. The house is so sad the day before the big grocery store trip.

I now know what a crackhead feels like.

Advertisements