…as apple pie bean pie!
I cook barbecue chicken, chili, mac and cheese. In Ramadan I never fail to have a big feast with turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, candy yams, and all the other traditional American holiday foods San the roasted ham. When I’m feeling ethnic I make tacos or order pizza!
My daughters ride horses and camels.
They are involved in many sports like swimming, Taekwondo, Karate, and gymnastics.
They are bilingual
They love adventure!
They go to the zoo
and museum
They play Uno and Connect four.
They ride bikes and Green Machines.
They have sibling rivalry! It drives me nuts!
Most of all they have a GOOD FATHER who loves and looks after their well being.
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We are American expatriates residing in Saudi Arabia. Many people have raised families abroad. We do no smoke, drink, do drugs,or engage in criminal activity or immoral behavior. Our daughters are as dear to us as our sons. As Americans in Saudi we are not expected to conform to the cultural norms of this society. We are not Saudi, we are American.
We know the value of proper upbringing of children. Children, are a trust given to the parents. Parents are to be responsible for this trust on the Day of Judgement. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and essential religious teachings of their children.
Islam sees that if parents fulfill their duties towards all children in terms of providing them with necessary training, educational backing, moral, ethical and religious education, this will definitely lead to a more caring child, a better family atmosphere and better social environment and awareness. The father is the shepherd over his family, protecting them, providing for them, and striving to be their role model and guide in his capacity as head of the household.
There is no need to be concerned about my husband raising any of his children. He cherishes them all and would be the last person to cause intentional harm to them.
Muslims please do not admonish me by telling me it’s haram to post images. I do not usually publicly post pictures of my family and I seek refuge in Allah with His total words from the every devil, vermin and from the evil eye.
Get Fit Clinique
Jun 03, 2010 @ 21:49:01
Those pictures with your children smiling, being active, looking happy with their father is what you should have posted in the first place. You dont need a hadith to tell you your previous posts have been vindictive and slanderng. I hope in your heart you know what you are doing is wrong. Regardless of what you thought of Ruthie’s mom, how can you be trying to get custody of her and call her mother “leeching parasite” and other names.
You admit she was suffering from illness but proceed to call her names. Protect your privacy, any proof should be handed to the judge or your lawyer. I wonder what your husband thinks of all this, its damaging in my view because you obviously dont seem to have Ruthie’s best interest at heart.
Jun 03, 2010 @ 21:58:15
See this is what Im talking about Umm Adam……..show those intolerant, close-minded people what happy children really look like! Leave that oppressed, brain-washed stuff where it is! They look like some of the happiest children I have ever seen. Maasha Allah. Subhanna Allah can my kids come join yours? They would fit right in. lol. My daughter and I were looking at your pictures and when the photo of your husband holding the kids went past she yelled “hey that looks like daddy and Lut”! Your youngest son and my Lut look very similar! Keep up the good job Umm Adam, your family seems wonderful. May Allah bless all of you!
Jun 03, 2010 @ 22:15:38
@Leila, why didn’t you post your negative comments on the appropraite post? This thread is suppose to be a positive one instead you trashed it. You all keep calling me out on being vindictive, yet I don’t see any of you giving me the benefit of doubt or privately contacting me with advice. It’;ds ok for you to point out what you perceive as my mistakes and this doesn’t concern you or effect your life at all. I am a blog that you read…that’s it yet you feel compelled to right my wrongs. Well this is my life that has been effected. It’sd my children who cry for their sister. It’s my husband and son who left us last year to go to the States for months. It is my kids who suffer now that I have to work until my husband can get back on his feet. Why don’t I get to right wrongs? Why can I not point out that Vivian was vindictive and slandered people? Why is it ok for you to do it to me and its not any of your business?
As far as Ruthie seeing this now. Ruthie has been heavily monitored by the Peachys. Nothing we do goes directly to her. My husband’s visits and phone calls are all monitored by them as I am sure her emails are. My hopes is that she sees this ONE DAY. If my husband gets custody I will delete them all, but if he loses his parental rights this will be left so that ONE DAY she knows the truth.
@ Umm Asiyah
Masha’Allah, I know all mothers brag about their children,but ANYBODY you ask will tell you that my children are lively,bubbly, fun loving,not having a care in the world type kids. Why Leila claims I don’t have Ruthies interest in mind is beyond me. I am hurt and probably feel guilty that my kids are like this,while she’s lived like that.
Jun 03, 2010 @ 22:18:25
BTW I’ve given all the proof to the lawyers.My husband’s lawyer is disinterested and the GAL doesn’t care about the past. I bring up the past because it is clear that the mother was not compitent to make decisions like giving her daughter away! She is not her property…you don’t just give a child away.
Jun 04, 2010 @ 04:24:05
Sweet post!
Jun 04, 2010 @ 08:09:27
Assalamo Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatu, Sister Um Adam,
May Allah reward your efforts. I am hurt for you and your family. I was reminding you that we don’t speak ill of the dead but the fact that you are still suffering because of her LIFE is very relevant.
A woman that apostates twice does need to be known about (if she were alive) to warn other communities of her since she seems to go from community to community.
If she were alive, I cant see how she would have any right to a good husband or to become a mother, wa Allahu alem. It is definitely against all good advice of the prophet (s.a.w.s.) to marry such a woman.
We are told that when Unbelieving women come to Muslims claiming their Islam TO TEST THEM and not send them back to the kufar! She should be offered protection and sustenance from the Muslim state, but has no right to marriage if she is as you describe (WELL YOU AND HER CHILDREN FOR THAT MATTER!!!!)
I’m sure I was tested, you were tested, all sisters who revert are (usually) and yet you and I are in long standing marriages with many children.
Sister I am truly sorry for your trials, certainly we all go through them. Just remember your background and many brothers and sisters both converts and born “muslims”, and yet somehow we CHOSE ISLAM. And the fact of the matter is, it is a gift from Allah. There are many people who come from really screwed up back grounds and yet find and become Muslim.
Of course your husband should fight for his daughter and I will be making special duas today (in case any one doesn’t know) Friday, the last hour of the day before magrib duas are accepted, and I will ask Allah s.w.t. to return Ruthie to her father.
It is a war on Islam habibty, and if Allah wills Ruthie will be lucky enough to be guided to Islam regardless of what those kufar are plotting and planning. He is the ultimate decision maker.
May Allah make it easy on you and guide Ruthie to Islam wherever she is raised, ameen.
UmMuhammad
Jun 04, 2010 @ 13:05:47
I was refraining from commenting anymore after Vivian’s mother commented. I do not know her or any of her family, but can only imagine my own mother’s horror of coming across some negative speech about her son, my brother, who died at the age of 21. The pain of a mother losing her child is something indescribable, so regardless of the circumstances, I will not be a part of that. Plus, this is Intisar’s/Muath’s family’s battle, not mine; and while I support them fully and am completely on their side, I will not be a part of causing any pain to Vivian’s mother/family.
However, when all the high and mighty’s started prancing around on their high horses, pointing their fingers down to Intisar, judging her for her tactics, accusing her of being vindictive and evil, all the while NOT KNOWING HER PERSONALLY, I felt compelled to say something.
I have known Intisar for over a decade mashaa Allaah. She was one of the first sisters my two sisters and I met when we first started practicing and coming around the DC/MD/VA masjid scene. We have a spent a lot of time with her over the years, her family even took my oldest sister in when she and her children were going through hard times. She and my sister have remained close to this day mashaa Allaah.
I’ve been around Intisar when she had Ruthie with her for visits when they lived in Northern VA, and what Intisar described as her treatment of her husband’s daughter was exactly what I witnessed.
I even met Vivian once…at a sister’s gathering at my sister’s house. Intisar brought Vivian along, and introduced her as Ruthie’s mom (everyone had already known and was somewhat acquainted with Ruthie, but this was the first time many of us had met Vivian). I remember Intisar being very helpful with her and treating her (her husband’s ex-wife no less) with respect and just like one of the girls. If I remember correctly, Intisar and her husband were trying to help her find housing and/or get married. I made a sly comment/joke about her just remarrying Muath, which Intisar didn’t find funny at all (so sorry about that Intisar!). In spite of what we now know the situation was in reality, you all should know that Intisar never divulged any of the details about Vivian/her past/her mental state to any of us. If she was vindictive and evil, she had ample opportunity to smear her husband’s ex-wife in the eyes of all the sisters and ruin her reputation and any chance of forming relationships with us. But she didn’t. She was protecting her faults, as a muslim is supposed to do for his brother/sister.
Even the situation with her and Ruthie moving to Saudia, she never divulged any of it, and she very well could have, RIGHT HERE ON HER BLOG!!! But again, she didn’t. Mashaa Allaah, may Allaah reward her.
While I can’t say I agree with the way Intisar is handling it now, I can’t really say I disagree either. The fact is that Muath is desperate for his child and has been desperate for far too long. And Intisar as his wife and companion for all these years has witnessed it first hand. Only she sees the pain he may be suffering, the sleepless nights, the tears, or whathaveyou. I am only guessing what he must go through because I am a mother and can imagine what something like this must feel like. I’m also guessing that Intisar’s handling it the way she is, is a desperate attempt to shed some light on their side of an unjust situation, since it seems like no one is listening or even cares.
I don’t know what I would do in such a situation, and neither do any of you (unless by some unfortunate chance you’ve lived it), so STOP ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY AND SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND RUNNING YOUR MOUTHS ABOUT WHAT SHE SHOULD DO AND WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE BLAH BLAH BLAH!
The fact is that you and I do not walk in her shoes everyday, so we have no clue about the reality of her/her family’s situation.
The interesting thing is that many of you who criticize her have let your true colors shine through on this one! Your hatred for islam and muslims is oh so clear now, since none of you have spoken out on the issue of Muath’s being denied his God-given rights of custody of his biogical child!
Where’s the “standing for justice” you FAKE, garbage can liberals are so infamous for? I’ll tell you where it is…YOU THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW AS SOON AS MUATH CHOSE ISLAM!!!
It is simply mind-boggling that a system will grant custody and/or parental rights to an adoptive parent who chooses homosexuality as her lifestyle, but will not do the same for a biological parent who happens to choose islam as his way of life!!!
http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/59155
Jun 04, 2010 @ 15:01:32
Umm Adam:
As salaamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatuallah
Whoever, reads this do not think that this cannot happen to you all person needs to say (insert false allegations here) against you to get the ball rolling of trying to remove your child/ren from you. Umm Adam, what it boils down to is the fact that your family is muslim, you can be the best parent on Allaah (azzal wal jalla) spacious earth. All the non muslims are going to see is the fact that you are muslim .
This happened to two dear friends of mine.same exact thing (Make false allegations here) to make a long story short both of my friends performed Istikharah they both were cleared of any wrong doings but one still lost custody and one was given monitored visitation. ALlaah (azzal wal jalla) blessed both of my dearest friends with more children to ease the lost of loosing their other children.
Perform Istikharah and be patient with the out come even if your husband is cleared of any wrong doing just be prepared that he may still loose custody. It is times like these Umm Adam you will see who your real friends are,never the less put your trust in Allaah (azzal wal jalla)
take care
Jun 04, 2010 @ 16:05:05
May Allah make it easy for you and your family. I agree with the previous poster when she said that you never know when you may be falsely accused of something. We live in times of fitnah and we witness, daily, signs of the last day. What Um Adam is going through is just one example. And unfortunately, when we’ve exhausted all other possibilities, we may have to resort to unconventional ways to get the truth out.
However, my advice to anyone and everyone in any situation is to seek forgiveness from Allah, fear Allah more and make du’a.
May Allah give you strength and patience.
Jun 04, 2010 @ 17:51:32
Ahh Leila…What can I say about Leila?
When you advise your Sister do it with hikmah.
The Prophet said When Gentleness is entered into a matter then it beautifies it…when harshness enters a matter than it disfigures it.
Your post was very ugly so I advise myself and then you that when you seek to advise a sister do not do it in a way that is going to make her feel bad by calling her vindictive and slanderous without any proof. If you do have some proof that she has slandered someone then bring it if not be silent.
You sought to advise someone and fell into the hole of having to be advised from your own words and actions. (Calling her vindictive was slanderous. Calling her a slanderor was slanderous on your part too)
Please Fear Allah and know your actions as as accountable for as anyone else.,
May Allah grant us the tawfeeq. Ameen
Jun 04, 2010 @ 21:55:11
As Salamu Alaikunna
Umm Adam I was use to you not posting anything new then decidedto visit the blog.I was shocked and saddened by the recent events in your life. My heart goes out to you and your family! May Allah rectify your affairs, ameen. I don’t see any of us exempt from any situation and this is a clear prejudice that’s taking place. I think the media should be informed and anyone else that can bring more attention to this matter. Dua and taking an united effort should be the next step! Email me and let me know what I can do please!!!!!! ummhasanah@yahoo.com
Jun 06, 2010 @ 08:24:29
Asiya wrote: “I was refraining from commenting anymore after Vivian’s mother commented. I do not know her or any of her family, but can only imagine my own mother’s horror of coming across some negative speech about her son, my brother, who died at the age of 21. The pain of a mother losing her child is something indescribable, so regardless of the circumstances, I will not be a part of that … ”
Asiya, I’m very sorry for the loss of your Brother. Your Mother probably felt like her heart was being ripped out, as I did.
Aaishah, I confused, your post with Asiya’s post on the earlier thread. Again, I’m very sorry for your loss.
Jun 06, 2010 @ 16:48:01
As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah.
I have not known Intisar personally for a long time as some of you may have but I have had the opportunity to spend time with her and her family. I stayed with them on two occassions when I went to Riyadh to take care of some embassy business. I was delighted by her children. They are definitely a lively bunch. They love their parents and they show it in every way. During my last visit, I was entertained by Saudah and Ramlah’s new gymnastics moves that they have been learning in their gymnastics class. In addition, I listened to Ramlah’s singing talents which I was reminded of last night while I was out shopping and I heard the song she sang to me. My boys, 16 and 13, enjoy Adam and refer to him affectionationately as “my man Adam”. Adam enjoys hanging out with the “big boys” and they actually like him, not like some other little kids which they tolerate. And Raiyan…what can I say about Raiyan…he is just a cutie pie. Kind of quiet and shy at first but once he warms up, he is a charmer. This is a family like any other family. They have their up and downs but they love each other. Intisar is busting her behind to fill in the gaps left by her husband’s unemployment or underemployment and I respect her for that.
I have personally been in a custody battle for my child who was 6 years old when I left the US for Saudi. She had limited visits with her father from the time she was about 2. She the longest amount of time she had ever spent with him was 2 days and 2 nights but the judge awarded this man custody of her if I left for Saudi because of the percieved “oppression of women and girls in Saudi”. That is such a bunch of hooey! My daughter has gone from being a lively happy little averaged sized girl, to being a sedentary, extremely over weight, unhappy little girl. This was in the best interest of the child? No! However, it is overlooked by the American justice system just because I wanted to offer her a better life in Saudi Arabia. The only plus in my situation is, I still have joint custody with my daughter’s father and I will have physical custody of her should I decide to move back to America.
Intisar, keep your head up and do not let those who criticize you get you down. Life is a test and after istikharah, whatever happens is the will of Allah. Allah has a plan for all of this and inshaallah, some day you will see the reality of it. May Allah guide you and your family and give you the best in this life and the next, ameen.
Umm Saddaqah Khadijah Tobin
Ha’il, KSA
Jun 07, 2010 @ 06:44:40
@Vivian’s mother: Thank you for your words, ma’am. In all honesty, and with all due respect, you said losing your child felt like your heart has been ripped out…I’m sorry for that…but how do you think Ruthie’s father feels at the present time? Would you wish that feeling on anyone else? Why aren’t you, as a mother, supporting a parent’s plea and petition to have their child with them? Wouldn’t you want that for yourself? Our prophet Muhammad – peace and blessings be upon him – said: “None of you truly believes, until he wants for his brother what he wants for himself.” And if I’m not mistaken, wasn’t it Jesus – peace and blessings be upon him – who coined a similar phrase, famously known as “The Golden Rule”? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”?