I was reading a blog that discussed the writers observations on the difference between Interracial couples. She noted that:
1. BM/WW couples usually dated and had illegitmate children
2. WM/BW couples usually were happily married
What I found interesting was from one of the people who left a comment. It was a long comment and can be read here but I’ll quote what I found interesting.
For a Black woman and White male to really get involved, they must first meet, then overcome societal expectations. This is more easily done by intelligent, liberal-minded people; since intelligence and liberalism correlates with college education, both individuals in a BW-WM pairing are more likely to be educated or meet at places associated with smarts and status (museums, etc..) Furthermore, since the White man is at the top of the social hierarchy in America, dating a Black woman would actually be a social step down. The only way to compensate for this is if you have the “trophy” wife–which is why in BF-WM pairings, the woman is more often-than-not highly educated, above average in looks, and everything else that you’d want in a woman. She must be the ideal woman to compensate.
*Emphasis mine
Well that would explain why my husband chose me – rofl!
This person obviously has never been across the railroad tracks. LOL
Yea girl me too, shabang!
BismiLlahi arRahmani arRahim.
Mmmh…I’m thinking…if I have to cry or if I have to laugh…
As-Salaamu ‘alaikum,
Is dating (or marrying) a Black woman such a step down for a middle-class white man? Perhaps things are different in America, but from a British white male perspective, we like an intelligent and sophisticated woman, of whatever race, and I guess when those features are combined with the vivacity and outgoing-ness some Black women display, it’s quite an irresistible combination. The same features which might turn off the sort of white men who’d date a middle-class Black women are manifested in bucketloads by certain types of white women also (especially here where there is a lot of culture sharing, as discussed earlier on your R. Kelly post).
Hi, sorry to go a bit off-topic on your private blog, but I’m in a panic about the election, and I’m trying to get the word out about Barack Obama’s opposition to Proposition 8, a bill he calls “divisive and discriminatory.”
You may have seen a flier with Obama’s face all over it, and quotes from him implying that he supports the measure. Of course, Obama has always been a strong supporter of Christian marriage. We all want to see families strengthened.
But Barack Obama OPPOSES Proposition 8. He says that if passed it would “roll back civil rights.”
Obama stated his opposition to Prop 8 way back in April, so the Prop 8 people know perfectly well that they are misleading the public by using Obama’s image and quotes in their ad. Obama’s statement read in part:
“I oppose the divisive and discriminatory efforts to amend the California Constitution, and similar efforts to amend the U.S. Constitution or those of other states.”
“For too long, issues of LGBT rights have been exploited by those seeking to divide us.”
“It’s time to move beyond polarization and live up to our founding promise of equality by treating all our citizens with dignity and respect.”
“This is no less than a core issue about who we are as Democrats and as Americans.”
In reaction to the misleading Prop 8 ad, Obama’s camaign has stated:
“Senator Obama has already announced that the Obama-Biden ticket opposes Proposition 8 and similar discriminatory constitutional amendments that could roll back the civil rights he and Senator Biden strongly believe should be afforded to all Americans.”
Don’t let Senator Obama be misrepresented in the media! Please talk to your friends and family before election day about Obama’s opposition to the discriminatory, divisive Proposition 8.
As salaamu alaykum
Is it just me or do most people think that most black sisters are just living in some type of utopia if their husband is white. lol. I am 20 years old and married to a white brother, and for some reason everybody thinks that this brother can do “no” wrong. Dont get me wrong I love my hubby to death, but he is not perfect. Masha Allah. I am so sick of the shut up and be happy, no matter what he does mentality! I have already stopped looking at my husband as a white brother, he is simply my husband. Nothing more nothing less. That is until I am reminded that I am so lucky to be married to a white man, because he decided to be with me and not a white sister. Come on people it is 2008! People just make the craziest comments to me sometimes about my daughter. One time this old lady in the store said to me about my daughter “Oh she is so light, and beautiful.” What the heck does that even mean? I just dont get it sometimes. It was even worse when we went on Umrah, Saudi’s were looking at us like “Why is he so close to his maid, his wife is gonna have a fit.” And the women looked at me like I didnt even deserve him. It is just so funny sometimes. Umm Adam I think the only difference between our husbands is that even if my husband wasnt Muslim he would still want a Black wife. I guess it has to do with the upbringing and what you are mainly around growing up. Allahu Alam. My husband even said that most white men are extremely attracted to black women, they are just afraid to admit it.
Br. Yusuf, thanks again for sharing your perspective.
Young Muslimah, I agree – ’some people’ can really make you feel as if you are not worthy of a white man and that you are so fortunate to have him. Due to this I often refer to my dh as ‘The Great White Hope’. are you in America? This did not happen to me in America.
Also, my dh found black women attractive before he was Muslim. He had never been around blscks before until he joined the army. I think Islam was the perfect excuse for him to hook up.
Naw man, its just that they weren’t really around no black gals like that. My DH said before Islam he was just a regular ole white boy from the sticks, but after Islam he was everything from straight up mixed black to Yemeni to mixed Paki. Go figure.
Great white hope. Yes well I got that in the US to at the bl. masjid. Mainly cause alot of the sister’s husbands were on the prowl for a new wife and my man didn’t know anybody by face. And please don’t let him catch you staring anywhere near my vicinity . He told me one day that a brother was talking to him about looking at the women to assess her for “marriage” DH said well I bet not catch you staring at my wife.
What they saw was what they wanted to see and do see in him. Just baggage from jahilillah.
He’s just a man. Goes to work, comes home. al-humdulillah for going to work! HURRAY.
And oh please, he had to cut his hair cause folks would always say he looked like their picture of …. I can’t even say it its so cliche!
::Is it just me or do most people think that most black sisters are just living in some type of utopia if their husband is white::
LOL! I’ve seen this on both sides. In general black men get a “hero’s welcome” whenever they hook-up with a white or nonblack woman. And although many black women aren’t as obvious with their accolades, I’ve been pulled aside & congratulated on my “superior catch” many times.
Unfortunately many blacks & others suffer from an internalized white supremacy belief.
I know some white sisters also consider white American muslim men to be a good catch. I remember one sister talking about how they are muslims, but without the cultural problems that men from muslim countries have (and presumably without the cultural problems of African American muslim men as well). I’m not putting myself in it. Just saying that the perception of the white muslim guy being a good match is out there.
As salaamualaikumummadam,no time no see,and asiyahsmom(email or im me ok plz inshaAllah)i notice in misr u have the same thin with the aa brothers thinking the arab women are btr than any other race, 2nd best to white sisters, and the arab women wanting the white muslims; then u find the aa sisters looking for non black muslims to marry specifically stating that the marriage would last longer and they would be btr provided for than if they married an aa brother. So much to say about the issue personally sometimes its degrading to the aa brothers who do provide for their family and not all thugged out, and for the aa sisters who arent just someones baby mama type person in a muslim marriage.
Salams
That was interesting to read but is it so in reality? Do you think colour is still a problem?
Salams
That was interesting to read but is it so in reality? Do you think colour is still a problem? I saw it might be in US, but I really didn’t see mixed race marriages as big issue in europe.
I agree with the original post. Most BW/WM relationships I have seen the BW has been very intelligent and beautiful and the WM seems a real catch regardless of color. I also believe a BW has alot of emotions/thoughts to let go of before she allows herself to marry outside the race.
Salams,
No matter how advance technologies seem to be taking us, the ignorances and prejudices seem to never evolve. Truly this is sad.
Interesting perspective. I’ve never heard this before. I am a Black American woman married to a Swedish (that means white for those who are culturally challenged) man.
What I have found in dating white American men is that they carry too much baggage when dating a black woman. Before I would even go out with one I had to make sure this guy wasn’t just trying to get that, “black experience”. On the other hand…I have found European men to be more open minded, non-stereotypical (no, I am not going to bend over and do a booty dance for you!) and looking for characteristics that are outside of color. And, when I met my husband’s family for the first time…race wasn’t an issue. You are lucky to find that in the states. There is always someone in the family “not feelin it”. In my case…it was my brother…who BTW 12 years later has married a white woman (who I absolutely love by the way…and they’re so happy).
I’ve never used race as a criteria for dating. OK. That is not totally true…because I don’t feel asian men, but that’s because they’re small men, and I’m 5ft8. LOL.
by the way i think white men are so romantic and passionate than black men and they dont use alot of cursing words.only those who are pretending to and trying to leave the rough life from the hood . i date a white man and he is so different from the black men i have dated .some black men are vevy selfish and always want the woman to support them.all the time and they do not know how to make the woman to feel loved and wanted .we women want to be told i love you all the time you hangup the phone or whenever you are both watching a movie .trust me when it come to love white men know how to press the right button i will never date a black man in my entire life .i rather stay single.
plis dont misunderstand me i have lots of black men as frieands and they are good friaends only not good lovers for me . they have failed the interview so many times .
Kate, I’ve heard so many women give up on black men. While I understand where they are coming from it is my observation that men are men. Sure there are some characteristics that you may find generally in a specific race, but most of the characteristics you will find in men generally. I always hear people say white men are more romantic than black men. I also married my white husband under the assumption that he would come home from work saying honey i’m home…come on kids lets go out and give mom a break and that we wpoould g on regular dates. I’m still waiting on all of that. I’m nt complaining or insulting him ..I’m saying this so that people dont assume all white men are romantic. I’m always teling my husband to get some ‘game’.
Quite interesting….i think i agree with the last comment by umm adam”but most of the characteristics you will find in men generally”.When it comes to marriage one should go for the person you think will make you happy,regardless of race.